Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Being Twenty Something

I am officially a quarter of a century old...that makes it sound much worse than it actually is. Yes, my 25th birthday was yesterday, April 14th. I actually received this "poem" in an email a few years ago, but it seems that everytime I read it, the more it becomes true. Just a few thoughts to ponder if you're at this point, are approaching this, or have already lived through it.

Being Twenty-Something


They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now...


You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere but that they are as confused as you.


You look at your job...and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.


Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.


One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused.


Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.


You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One-night-stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.


You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!


What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Randomness

I really don't have anything interesting to "blog" about, so this will be a lot of rambling I am sure. (Sorry Doug, it started out short, but by the time I finished, it was much longer than anticipated.) Easter weekend was the beginning of my spring break (possibly the greatest thing about still being involved with school) and a week of doing basically nothing. Friday night I stayed in Columbia to watch the beginning of baseball's sweep of Baylor. It was a great game, a little windy but Crow (Aaron Crow, one of our starting pitchers) pitched his 2nd straight shut out of the year and was later named National Pitcher of the week. Saturday I began the trek to Texas. 10 1/2 hours later I was in Breckenridge at my PawPaw's house. I was super excited to see him as well as my cousins Nathan & Amanda and their new son (born in December) Henry. It was my first time meeting him and most of you know I LOVE babies. I really wanted to bring him back with me, but Nathan & Amanda wouldn't leave him. I would post pictures but I forgot to get them off mom's camera before I came back (nudge, nudge, just a reminder you are supposed to be uploading them for me). I also got to see my cousin Camri and her husband Jeff who I haven't seen since they got married 3 years ago. It was great to catch up with her and the rest of her family. Sunday before heading back north to Tulia, Mom and I went by the "Boar's Den" to see the rest of her side of the family. It was good to see them as well, some of them I haven't seen in YEARS. Then we ended up stopping at my Aunt Wanda & Uncle Jerry's house to visit with them as well as Paul, Laurie, Ashton & Seth. I saw them (except Paul) at the state basketball tournament, but we had a great afternoon of making cookies, analyzing the cookbook that the church put together and watching basketball.

Then the boredom set in. I love being home, but after a few days it gets BORING. Not a lot of entertainment in Tulia, Tx to say the least. I did get to visit with a few friends, made several trips to Chili's in Plainview, listened to the baseball games on the radio, even got all the district track entries put in the computer for the upcoming district meet, but that's about the extent of the entertainment. Friday evening I went and watched Katie run the hurdles, then headed to Lubbock to watch the Mizzou-Tech baseball series. Friday we came away with a win, barely, but we will take it anyway. Friday night Matt (the baseball athletic trainer) and I went to eat at Texas Land & Cattle, then I showed him around Lubbock a little. He wanted to see the glorious "Strip" that he has heard about so I took him out there to show him that. Later we met Tate at The Spoon for some live Texas Country music. Catching up with Tate was great because I didn't get to see him at Christmas. Saturday I went to the 2nd game of the series and it wasn't as much fun. We lost 3-2 in the bottom of the 9th inning. I really wanted to stay and watch the Sunday game, but knew I had a 12 hour drive ahead of me, and getting in at 3 am wasn't exactly sounding like a good idea to me and let me assure you...there is NOTHING in Oklahoma. The drive is quite boring, other than trying to figure out where they come up with all the weird names of the towns along the way.

I must say that I have turned my mom into a HUGE Mizzou baseball fan. Sunday she had gametracker and the internet radio (the Mizzou station of course) on giving me updates on my drive back. (Sadly we lost 15-11 in the bottom of the 9th AGAIN, only to a walk-off grand slam this time). She had it on Friday & Saturday when I was at the game and again last night when we were playing Western Illinois. She's even learned several of their nicknames...although Senne (sounds just like penny, but with an s) still gets her all the time. Last week, Mizzou baseball was ranked No. 2 in the nation, after going 2-3 last week we dropped to No. 4, but have no fear, we will climb again.

Well I guess that is enough rambling for now. Hopefully soon I will have something interesting to blog about.